Another day, another visit to the doctor. For me, an appointment to see my doctor means a week of dark dismal social anxiety. I tense up and sleep a whole LOT because it's easier to sleep than to feel like crap. After that, the day finally arrives and I am mentally and emotionally destroyed. My day is doomed and I'm in no mood to enjoy any part of it until my appointment is over. My anxiety doesn't come from worrying about rubber gloves or needles or an ugly old nurse with a barely noticeable evil smirk on their face. It comes from having to sit down in front of someone I barely know and discussing ME and my issues. That's what angsts me. It makes me tense, for days on end until every muscle in my body is screaming at me to stop flexing but I can't stop! Sorry muscles, but I'm not in control of you right now. I'll see you when my appointment is over.. and you too, gastrointestinal tract! Good luck with all that nausea and heartburn, but I'm unable to focus on anything but my worries right now. You'll feel better when it's over, I promise.

It's all good though. Things are generally moving in an upward direction which are all working toward me crawling out of my epic rut and becoming a more productive member of my life and my family.. maybe even society! Luckily I have a wonderful doctor who is persistent but not overwhelming. He keeps surprising me with another goal after meeting a goal, instead of just leaving me alone to regression. It's just what I need. I also have a wife who steadily nudges me to get better for my daughter. I can honestly say that if I didn't have my wife and daughter in my life, I would probably just stay in bed.